One third grade teacher in Oklahoma was most definitely not ready to kick off the school year, reportedly arriving to teach on the first day of third grade with a blood alcohol level at roughly triple the legal limit.



Kimberly Coates, who teaches at Perkins-Tryon Intermediate School an hour away from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, was yanked from her classroom during the first day of school on Thursday after appearing “off” during class, ultimately landing under arrest for public intoxication.


Though Coates initially attempted to thwart these allegations of drinking on the job when asked about the contents of her blue cup, insisting it contained her  “juice,” whatever that means, school officials were less-than-convinced.



“Want to try again? That there is wine,” asked a school officer. After some more prodding, Coates admitted her juice was, in fact, the fermented grape variety, though she continued to deny getting tipsy in the classroom.


“I drank out of that yesterday,” she explained, noting that she had “half a box of wine” the previous evening. “I didn’t drink out of it today. I drank out of that coming to work yesterday.”


After further questioning, she revised her story again, noting that she had enjoyed a few sips on her way to class.


“Unless you drank a shitton at like 8:00 this morning,” countered Sergeant Spencer Gedon of the Perkins Police Department. “I don’t get how you can still be that hot.”




Though the answer may have evaded Sgt. Gedon, it’s clear to us: She, like all of us, would rather be on summer vacation.